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Common Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating On You

An unfaithful husband, cheating wife, any kind of disloyal partner, is an ugly prospect. And that feeling of being betrayed by someone we thought we could trust more than anyone else is one of the worst. People who discover their partners have been unfaithful to them go through a hurricane of different emotions – anger, sadness, shame, dejection, sometimes even relief. It’s a grieving process, not of a person that’s died, but of a relationship and level of trust that’s instantly disintegrated. In short, it sucks.

But before you can begin “grieve” that loss of trust, or simply throw caution to the wind and ditch your partner for good, you need to make absolutely sure your reaction will be 100% warranted. You need to know without doubt whether your lover has, in fact, double-crossed you by looking for, finding, and partaking in, an affair.

The only guaranteed way of knowing this, aside from finding damning physical evidence or seeing the affair with your own eyes (both pretty rare), is by hearing a confession straight from the horse’s mouth, by communicating your suspicions with your partner and listening to what they have to say – however heartbreaking or relieving their response might be. But before you take that big step, there are a few simpler and smaller steps you can take to make the whole process, the whole “investigation” and confrontation of your partner, easier and more factually accurate.

The first thing you should do is look for some of the most common signs/groups of signs people produce when they cheat. I’ve listed 3 of them below. Read over and think about each and carefully consider if they apply to you, your partner and your relationship.

1. Changes in sex drive and sexual behaviour.

Sex is almost always an integral part of a happy and healthy relationship between two people. So when one of the two, regardless of whether it’s the guy or the girl, begins to cheat, it doesn’t come as any surprise that changes in the way they feel about having sex with their partner can be brought about. There are two main ways these changes can manifest themselves. When the cheater initially begins their affair, they may – out of guilt and in an effort to avoid the newly formed affair being rumbled – actually increase the amount of attention they pay their real partners in bed. Conversely, and usually a little while after the affair has begun, the cheater may appear to have a loss of sex drive. They, for some reason, seem to not want to be intimate with you as much as they used to. Once again, this can be attributed to guilt, but more often it’s to do with a fear they’ll reveal their infidelity through they way they behave before, during and after having sex with you.

2. Peculiar changes in habits & schedule.

When people cheat, they invariably change their behaviour and/or habits in some way, small or large. The reason they cannot avoid these alterations is because, no matter how infrequently or secretly they see the person they’re having an affair with, they MUST – at some point or another – go out of their way to do so (and thereby break or change habits and behaviour). So, look for recent and pronounced modifications in the times they come home/leave the house (and whether the changed times ‘repeat’ weekly), increased usage of the phone or computer for no obvious/innocent reason, and other differences in the way your partner acts and behaves. You know your partner’s old habits and ways of living better than anyone, so draw from that knowledge to compare how they might have changed them and to decide if the changes are to be taken as possible indications of betrayal.

3. Miscellaneous indicators of infidelity.

Lastly, there’s the group of infidelity indicators that don’t fit in any other box or under any other title. They’re the things you notice, question and cannot innocently explain away. They’re the things you spot but almost choose to forget because you’re so unsure of what they may or may not mean and whether, ultimately, they are true signs that your partner is cheating on you with someone else. Here are just a couple of miscellaneous indications of infidelity:

A. Your partner no longer seems to get angry with you when in the past they always seemed to be picking a fight or getting worked up over any tiny issue. Cheaters often ‘let their partners off’ because they want as little confrontation (which could lead to a discovery on your part) as possible.

B. She or he frequently shifts the focus onto you. Cheaters often asks their partners more questions about how their day went, how they’re feeling, etc, again, to shift the attention away from them and their guilt.

Remember, when you suspect your partner may be cheating, always take the smaller steps – by looking for the kinds of subtle signs listed above – before taking the biggest step of all: confronting them. Doing so will give you the very best chance of a happy, or at least a more manageable, final outcome.

For more unfaithful cheating wife signs, Click ->> Cheating Wife

I have a question for you…

Have you ever noticed that when it comes to OTHER peoples relationships, everyone suddenly turns into Dick Tracy?

Just tell them what’s going on in someone else’s relationship and they will instantly roll their eyes and say “well she’s cheating on him” or “he’s screwing someone else”.

A funny thing happens though when it comes to your own relationships. People go from being “super detective” to being deaf, dumb and blind.

The reason for this is they lack OBJECTIVITY.

They cannot look at their own relationships with any objectivity. They can spot someone in another relationship cheating from a mile away, but can’t do the same with their own.

And this is the 3rd notorious mistake people make when they think they’re being cheated on.

You absolutely must distance yourself from your relationship — examine the facts — and add everything up from there.

This is also known as becoming emotionally detached.

Let me put it to you this way.

Think back to one of the happiest periods in your life — a time where a lot of things seemed to be going right.

Now, if during that time one of your friends had come to you to “lean on your shoulder” about some relationship problems they were having (and as it turns out their problems are identical to what you’re now going through), what would your thoughts have been?

Not what are your thoughts right now, but what would your thoughts have been about this during that happy period in your life.

You probably would have a different opinion about your relationship back then you do now.

You see, right now you don’t have any clarity, any objectivity.

But you need to get it right now — and bad.

Try to look at your relationship as if it were someone else’s. It’s not easy to do, but everyone has the ability to do it.

Do it, and you’ll probably be surprised at what you come up with.

Would you like even more information on how to catch a cheating lover?

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I’m not going to waste any time here.

So here it goes.

One word.

MANIPULATION.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when they think they’re being cheated on is allowing themselves to be manipulated.

This is where you start to think that you’re being cheated on, but your better half convinces you that you’re not.

What you need to know is that men and women manipulate differently.

Women manipulate men physically.

They do this by using their bodies (think SEX here).

A woman can pretty much get a man to think or do whatever they want by offering sex, or at least physical contact.

For example, if you’re a man and your woman starts to think that you’re “catching on” to what she’s doing behind your back, she’ll offer herself physically as a method of changing your mind.

Maybe she’ll have sex with you. Maybe she will just let you put your arm around her. Maybe she’ll just let you touch her while she’s sitting next to you on the couch watching TV.

In any event, she’ll offer you some sort of physical interaction that will make you think “gee, maybe she isn’t cheating on me”.

If you’re a man, remember this….women control almost all physical encounters.

After all, if a woman says “NO”, it’s rape.

The same rules don’t apply to men.

Now on the other side of the coin, men will manipulate by EMOTION.

A man can get a woman to think or do whatever he wants by pretty much just saying what she wants to hear (or doing some little romantic trick like sending flowers).

A man can sweep a woman off her feet with just words.

A simple “I love you” or “you’re everything I’ve ever wanted and more” can emotionally melt most women.

So these are the things you need to watch out for.

If you think your lover is cheating on you, and then all of a sudden they do something “to make everything alright”, you my friend have just been manipulated.

I know of men (who’s wives or girlfriends were cheating on them) who bought expensive jewelry for their woman just because of some type of physical contact.

I know of women (who’s husbands or boyfriends were cheating on them) who dropped the whole notion of infidelity just because of receiving flowers or getting a loving message left on their answering machine.

You need to be completely aware of manipulation like this in your relationship.

If you’ve been emotionally abused or physically neglected for a time, and then all of a sudden something changes that makes you happy and relieved, odd’s are you’re being manipulated.

Some women call this a “mercy …”.

Some men call this “throwing her off the trail”.

In any event, you’re letting your NEEDS open the door for your lover to keep cheating on you, undetected.

Manipulation is a very important key to look out for.

If you’re “starving” for something in your relationship and then all of a sudden you get “fed”, well, there’s a reason for that.

And that reason is that your lover may be thinking you’re “on to them”.

Manipulation is the FIRST thing they’ll use to shut you up.

Watch out for it and don’t fall for it! Remember what was said here!

Would you like even more information on how to catch a cheating lover?

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Let’s start out by talking about the laws of nature.

When it rains you get wet. Big animals eat small animals. If you don’t drink water you will die. People cheat on each other.

Did you catch the last one?

Human beings are not monogamous by nature. We don’t mate exclusively for life with the first partner we choose.

We have many mates throughout our lifetime.

And we don’t just have sex to reproduce.

Some animals do. Human beings do not.

But when it comes to infidelity, people think that the laws of nature do not apply to them.

They think that no one would ever cheat on them because they’re too good in bed, too good looking, too wealthy, too good at this, too good at that and so on and so on.

“He would never do that to me, he loves me”

“She would never do that, she has it too good”

The #1 biggest, most notorious reason why affairs go undetected is because people refuse to believe that it can happen to them.

Well let me tell you right now that the laws of nature apply to everyone — including you.

I don’t care who you are – a celebrity – a bum – a mother – a father – a nobody.

Anyone, and I mean anyone, can cheat on you.

If you don’t accept this fact, you will miss every little thing your lover does that screams “I’m cheating on you”.

Let me tell you a little story…

An old friend came to my door one day to cry on my shoulder about the troubles he was having with his wife.

She was doing all of this strange things, he saw her hugging another man in a parking lot, she wouldn’t sleep in the same bed with him and so on.

I mean any 6 year old could have seen she was cheating on him.

It was that obvious.

But he refused to believe it.

Why?

Well here were his answers, in order:

1. He pays for everything and he doesn’t cheat on her, so
why would she cheat?

2. He asked her if she was cheating and she said no.

3. He’s smarter than her.

This is the perfect example of someone who doesn’t think the laws of nature apply to them.

He couldn’t believe that someone would cheat on him. He couldn’t “get over himself”.

And the fact of the matter is that almost everyone thinks this way at one time or another.

If you don’t believe that it can happen to you, if you think that you are that one special person in the universe where the laws of nature don’t apply to you, you’re going to have a miserable time of it.

Want to know what ended up happening to my old friend?

He’s currently going through a bitter divorce that he doesn’t want. She left him and was the one that filed. And gee, she also has a boyfriend that works at the same place she does!

And he still can’t believe what’s happening to him!

Does this sound similar to anyone you know?

Now let’s recap the most important points for you to know:

1. You must accept the cold hard facts that anyone can and will cheat on you. It’s human nature. If you don’t “get over yourself” and accept this, you’re in for a lot of misery.

2. Don’t ever expect your lover to admit to you that they are having an affair. If you’re waiting for this to happen, it will be the longest wait of your life.

Would you like even more information on how to catch a cheating lover?

Click ->>Cheating Wife Infidelity

Before you look at ways of how to catch a cheating spouse there are important considerations you need to sort through before you confirm your suspicions.

When you suspect your spouse of being unfaithful, you are hit by a torrent of emotional and mental rage and hurt. Your mind races at lightening speed picturing all the negative scenarios, while you are overwhelmed with the thoughts of possible infidelity in your relationship.

Although you may be consumed by the burning desire to find out the truth immediately, I would advise you to prepare yourself first, before being faced with the truth that your worst fears are indeed true. I have seen far too many men and women, so overpowered by the need to know the truth, that they ignore or forget to prepare themselves when faced with it.

Why is this so important?

Because preparing is much better than reacting. The second you know the truth about the affair you could end up reacting from an intense source of anger and betrayal, which albeit is unavoidable even when you do prepare for the worst.

You have to be strong and calm for yourself, as even if you have the support of family or friends, it is you who has to actually deal with the bitter truth, and deal with the consequences of what your spouses’ affair will mean to you and your relationship.

Here are three things you should consider before you attempt to find out the truth about your spouse:

What will you do if you find out your spouse is being unfaithful to you? If you decide that such a thing would mean a divorce or separation, while it may be an extremely difficult concept to get your head around, you should seek some legal advice on the effects it would have on your financial life, custody of your children if you have any, and property etc.

Do you have a support group? And by that I mean, when faced with the devastation of your spouse’s infidelity do you have close family or friends you can confide in, who would help ease the pain.

And last but not least, is to control yourself when facing your partner. Under no circumstances must you resort to any kind of violence, physical or even verbal. In the heat of the moment while confronting your spouse, you need to take the upper hand. Do not have a victim mentality. Do not lose your self respect in the midst of all this, despite how hard it is to remain in control.

By knowing, or at least preparing yourself for the worst is a crucial part of dealing with how you will eventually work through such a difficult time. Take time to ponder over how you will react before finding out how to catch a cheating spouse. The methods to achieve that are much easier, than knowing how to cope with the aftermath.

Click ->> Catch A Cheating Spouse

The action you can take to discover if your husband or wife is cheating on you

Do you have a feeling in your gut that’s something wrong in your relationship? That maybe, just maybe, your partner’s being unfaithful? If you do, then you have a decision to make and several options to choose from.

First, think about how sure you are of their infidelity. If you aren’t sure at all, then option 1 – confronting them right now, without wasting any time – is completely out of the question. Doing so could ruin the relationship because it’d highlight, rightly or wrongly, that you don’t trust your partner.

The second option: ignore your suspicions, assume they’re unfounded and that they always will be, that nothing’s going on, and continue as normal. This option’s one many people take, either to avoid being confronted with an ugly truth – that their lover’s doing some extra ‘loving’ behind their backs – or because they fear they’re being unfair to their partners by being suspicious of them and doubtful of their devotedness.

Third option: do something to help eradicate your suspicions – find out either way what’s going on, if your partner’s cheating on you or if they’re being faithful.

Okay, let’s assume option three is the one for you. You want to find out the truth and don’t want to simply ignore your gut instinct and continue on as normal. What methods of investigation, ways of discovering the facts, are there at your disposal?

1. The simplest way (often considered the first step), and something you might have already begun doing, is looking for obvious signs of potential betrayal. Your partner smells of a fragrance, perfume or after-shave you don’t recognize. They’ve been leaving the house for work half an hour earlier than they’ve ever done before, for no apparent reason. They don’t seem to enjoy sex with you as they used to, or choose to avoid it completely whenever they can. Keep an eye out for these surface signs of potential infidelity – in a way, looking for them and recording them in your mind or on paper can be considered harmless, it’s free information there to be noticed…if only you’ll look.

2. After the obvious potential signs of cheating dry up, or when you feel you’re at a dead end looking for and analyzing them, more forthright, headstrong action may be called for. Some people, at this point, reach straight for the Yellow Pages, thumbing right to the private investigator section. That’s one option, sure, but there are things you can do yourself before calling in a third party. First, you could try setting a trap. It may sound a little primeval, like catching a wild animal, but really it’s more like a test. These tests can take many forms. For example, arrange a “trip,” say you’re going away for a couple days to visit your folks, or friends, and use that time to keep track of some of the things your partner does. You don’t necessarily need to sit outside in the car with a pair of binoculars 24/7, just pay attention to key times when your partner would – if you were home – do certain things, like leave the house for work, come home, etc. You’d be surprised how many cheaters embrace these rare, private opportunities to further their affairs and indulge in some extra-marital ‘relations’.

There are also subtler ways of testing your partner’s fidelity and faithfulness. One of them’s called the ‘gossip’ test. It involves bringing up the topic of cheating using a fictional third party, such as one of your work colleagues or friends. Mention, without hinting at your suspicion of them in the slightest, that your friend (or whoever you’ve chosen to use for this test) confided in you that they’re cheating on their partner. Most people are, to some degree or another – even if it’s just to maintain conversation – interested in a little gossip, especially if it involves a subject as juicy as infidelity. But when cheaters hear the topic of cheating brought up, they tend to silently panic – a rush of nerves sweeps their consciousness. Have they been rumbled? Is this a test? Am I reacting like a non-cheater would to this kind of chat? Keep a close watch on how YOUR partner reacts…it could provide a telling insight into their current state of mind, how they feel about cheating, and whether or not – when you boil it right down – you can trust them to not cheat on you.

For more ways to catch a cheating spouse, Take A Look At ->> Cheating Wife

How to reveal if your lover is cheating on you by keeping a special diary

Our minds aren’t perfect at remembering special details and specific facts – far from it. Our brains work selectively; they store and recall certain bits of information while forgetting others. For example, you might remember – for whatever reason – a phone number that has little or no importance to you, but forget the birthday of someone you really should buy a present for. On the most part, this selective/subjective memory trait creates no real problems in our day to day lives. We can look up a number if we forget it, or ask a friend of a friend for the day of the month on which someone’s birthday falls.

However, sometimes it can make things slightly trickier. One such time is when we suspect our partner may be cheating on us. Imagine you walk into the room just as your partner is putting down the phone and they seem a little on edge or tense as they turn around and see you. The incident may stick out in your mind for weeks, niggling at you, making you wonder: did it mean something, was it a sign? Fast forward to a different occasion, when your partner returns home from a business meeting or other engagement late and immediately jumps in the shower, even before properly saying ‘hi’ to you. You might rationalise their behaviour by thinking: “Well, they were probably tired or something. They surely just felt like refreshing themselves with a shower,” then forget all about it. You might be 100% right, but that’s not really the point. The strange phone incident and the unusual dash to the bathroom on returning home could both have happened because your partner is cheating on you, and conversely they both could be wholly innocent and not caused by infidelity. The point here is, remembering one incident over the other and thus giving it more weight or meaning than the other in your mind could potentially make it much more difficult to ascertain what is or isn’t going on – whether they’re trustworthy or not.

So, to combat the human tendency to selectively remember and therefore consider some incidents more than others, and therefore improve your chances of revealing the truth, you should keep an objective, non-selective record of everything that happens. Here’s how it works:

1. Use a journal or diary, not a digital method of recording events, changes in behaviour/habits/moods, etc. Noting things in your own handwriting allows each piece of information recorded to be absorbed more deeply and permanently by your mind than if you type them out quickly on a computer. Also, paper records (a diary, journal, etc.) are usually more portable than laptops, PC’s, etc., which could come in handy if/when you spot a potential sign of infidelity away from home.

2. Keep your journal as objective and neutral as humanly possible. Note the time something unusual, strange or suspicious occurs, if you’ve noticed it before, and what it consists of. For example, saying: “Today (insert date) they came home 2 hours later than usual from work, it’s happened once before and they offered no reason or explanation for their lateness” is much better and more useful in the long run than: “They came home late again! They had no reason to be late at all. It must mean something.” So, be specific, neutral, accurate and non-judgemental. A time will come when you’ll make a decision on whether or not you can trust them and it’ll be then when an emotional response will be completely warranted and understandable. Until then, record what happens like a robot – it’ll help unravel the mystery and reveal what the hell is or isn’t going on.

3. Finally, keep your journal/record hidden away somewhere where it won’t be stumbled upon by your partner. If they ARE cheating and find your diary, it could easily make them more secretive and more careful not to give out noticeable signs of their infidelity in the future – thus making your job of uncovering the truth more difficult. If they find it and are NOT cheating, they could feel insulted or hurt that you don’t fully trust them. That’s an issue that, if appropriate, can be brought up by you after you’ve completed your little ‘investigation’. For now, secretiveness is quite possibly one of your greatest allies in discovering whether or not your partner’s having an affair.

For more ways to catch a cheating spouse, Check Out ->> Cheating Wife Gets Caught

How cheating husbands and wives use phones and computers to communicate

These days it’s easier than ever to communicate with people – we’ve got high-speed internet connections (wireless & otherwise), mobile phones, pagers, fax machines. We can talk at the touch of a button, across cities, countries, the entire world. Furthermore, communication through these digital protocols is almost instant, fairly cheap and – if you want it to be – completely private and hidden.

While advancements in digital communication are, on the whole, a great thing, they do have their down sides. One disadvantage is that cheating husbands, wives (or, for that matter, girlfriends or boyfriends) can communicate with their private lovers away from the prying eyes and ears of their trusting partners. It happens every day: thousands upon thousands of text messages are sent by disloyal men and women to those they’re sleeping with behind their real partners’ backs.

Back in the day, the only way a guy or girl could arrange a clandestine meeting would be over a hard-line (either a house phone or a payphone). That meant the cheater would either have to make risky calls from the home of their unsuspecting spouses, or secretly take a trip to a local call box and do it from there. Both of these methods of communication could often be spotted by the betrayed party quite easily.

But that’s now a thing of the past. It’s now a cinch for a cheater to send messages to their secret lovers from work, a locked bathroom, even from under the bed covers while their current, faithful partner sleeps quietly and 100% unaware of what’s going on just 6 inches away from them.

It’s true; things are easier for cheaters these days…but not that easy. Just as all others kinds of cheats – be it a card shark, a conman or a computer hacker – leave signs of their dishonesty behind, so do disloyal partners. And looking for the right signs, in the right places, is the absolute best way of knowing for sure if you can trust your partner.

Okay, you know now how easy it is for cheaters to communicate with their secret partners using digital communication. But what are the signs, the indications, the clues of this kind of activity? Let’s take a look:

1. Computers offer cheaters a multitude of communication methods, including: email, instant messenger programs, chat rooms and forums. Although it can be difficult to tell what your partner’s doing online without actually looking over their shoulder (tricky!), there are indications you can look for more easily. One is an increased amount of time spent at the computer for no apparent reason, perhaps when you’re in bed or before you get up. Another is your partner quickly turning off the computer monitor or turning it away from you when you enter the room.

Also, try checking the internet browsing history of the computer your partner uses most often. Sometimes there are web pages, chat room locations or other signs that your partner has been taking part in internet infidelity to be found there. Other times, you’ll find that the browser history has been freshly deleted – this, as you can imagine, could be equally suspicious.

2. As mentioned earlier, mobile/cellular phones make quick and private communication easy. If you feel comfortable doing so, checking your partner’s phone’s call history, address book and text message archive can provide you with a wealth of telling information. Bear in mind, though, that cheating partner’s – in an effort to remain uncaught – often keep their phones on their person most of the time. If your partner used to leave their phone lying around, but now never seems to do so, you must ask yourself why.

3. Last but not least, don’t forget or ignore the “old” style methods of cheater communication. Many cheaters still use house phones to call their secret lovers. Check your itemized phone bill for calls to local numbers you don’t recognize and that aren’t in your phone book. Also, pay attention to how your partner reacts when you walk into the room when they’re on the phone. It’s difficult to mask panic and surprise when the partner you’re cheating on walks into the room while you’re chatting to your secret significant other. Quick hang-ups could be a sign your partner’s being disloyal over the phone and, perhaps, elsewhere.

By keeping your eyes peeled and ears open, you can sidestep the advantages new methods of communication offer cheaters and, hopefully, discover what’s really going on.

For more ways to catch a cheating spouse – Check out ->> Cheating Wife Gets Caught